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Break the Rules, Be Exactly Yourself

Old Rule: You’ll need to change if you want to succeed.
New Rule: Be exactly yourself.

I’ve worked with and spoken with many women in business, the majority of whom believe on some level that they need to be a different person in order to succeed. More educated, more competitive, less confrontational, tougher, more flashy, less aggressive, more aggressive, more hard-nosed, more accommodating, more structured, more flexible, less giving…

Good grief, hold it already!

What if instead of not enough, you are just right the way you are? What if no matter what anyone else has said — including the nasty, persistent, critical voice in your head — you are actually all that you need to be, right now?

What if the things we have come to believe are a problem, a character flaw, an “issue” are actually our greatest strengths? Well, like being stubborn, for example.

Hmmm. Let’s consider. Being stubborn isn’t cool. It’s not sexy. It certainly isn’t always convenient for those around us. Yup, it’s definitely a problem.

But wait. Being stubborn is the mark of all successful inventors, entrepreneurs, visionaries, and world-changers everywhere.

Oh, no one actually calls it stubborn. They call it pretty names. Like determined, steadfast, devoted, courageous, dedicated, committed… But it’s still just being stubborn. Holding on and not letting go no matter what anyone else says.

I worked with a fellow once who landed his job not in spite of being bossy, fastidious and, in his own words, anal retentive. He got the job because he was those things. He was office manager for a large, international law firm that took up several floors of a downtown office tower. They needed someone who could be counted on never to run out of anything. It did mean putting up with a tirade here and there when someone foolishly left one of the supply rooms a mess. He was bossy, took guff from no one, and ran a tight ship. He was perfect for the job (and actually a lot of fun when you didn’t mess things up).

It’s high time we start looking at the things we’ve come to believe are flaws, start viewing them as strengths, and begin exploring how to make them work for us.

Do what my friend Tracy and I did, we made a pact. The Goldilocks Pact. We decided we’re not Too Much or Too Little of anything. We’re just right. And so are you. This year, break the rules and be exactly yourself, don’t change a thing.

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 By liz gaige, January 20, 2010 | Filed under Articles